I wouldn’t want to join as club that had someone like me as a member…

It’s day seven of my new found health kick. I’ve joined Weight Watchers with Charles Barkley. It’s online only at a lower cost but doesn’t allow me go to the meetings. As it turns out, the pressure of going to the all-chick meetings might have been what was holding me back when I previously tried Weight Watchers. I don’t like meetings. I don’t like group participation. It’s vaguely cult-like. I really don’t like being the same room with people who believe in something. It automatically barres me from both organized religion and Klan rallies – so it can’t be all bad.

Happy New Burr…

I just finished the video documenting my Polar Bear plunge for Make-A-Wish. It was a lot easier this year just by temperature comparison. It was a good 35 to 40 degrees warmer outside. The water I’m sure was warmer too but the tough part is because the day was so sunny and warm for a January 1, the shock of the uber-cold water was a lot worse than last year. Still, I was prepared with a bathmat, robe, and fleece-line slippers. Get out, get dry, get warm, and go get lunch. That’s the way something ridiculously ridiculous like this should go every year.

You really like me…

I won! I won! It’s my first ever Schlotzky! So what does that mean? It means I did the best worst job of the year! The Schlotzky awards began five years ago by friends who I worked with in advertising. It’s a yearly award where creative types get together to show their best examples of their truly horrible work. Past examples include vibrator catalogs and a newspaper photo labeling a teenage boy as a girl. My victory came with my story detailing my musical screw up that led to me playing a Travis Porter stripper rap to my toddler storytime.

You can lead a dog to water but…

I am fighting the power tomorrow morning. I wrote about this before, I think. I got a ticket for not having my dog on a leash. I was at the park and walked my dog, on a leash, over to the irrigation canal so it could get a drink. I didn’t have my long extension least like I normally do and not wanting to risk tumbling into the canal, I let the dog off the lead to drink and cool off. At that moment, the biking dog cop nabbed me. I’ve never fought the law. I think it will win.

Nevermind…

I don’t know if I mentioned before but I am scheduled to present at an ILA pre-conference on mobile technologies in libraries this Friday. I am very excited to be a part of this. Oh, yes, I did mention my participation in my post from yesterday when I invited you to come by and say “hi.” So I am following @memo’s tweets this morning and he’s describing events from a meeting eerily similar to mine. Huh. Needless to say, don’t bother trying to find me on Friday as no one will be there since it will no longer be Wednesday.

Jumping the shark…

I’m going water skiing with weatherman Larry Gebert tomorrow. Larry is giving me and my young ward Jackson water skiing lessons at the Lucky Peak Reservoir. So why am going water skiing with Larry Gebert tomorrow? Let me take you back to the beginning of the year, literally, January 1, 2011. I participated in the annual Make-A-Wish Polar Bear Challenge where I, along with some hundreds of people (I don’t remember how many), dove into Lucky Peak’s freezing water – which was much warmer than the air temperature. I jumped in dressed as George Michael. I will let the video tell the story.

Sandwich cookie salvation…

Hit the wall today. We all hit the wall eventually. I have had one day off in the last two weeks. Now mind you that some of those days weren’t full days of work. Still. I know many people work harder and more hours than I do. But it didn’t help the fact that I wanted to punch everyone. People I liked. People I didn’t particularly like. Didn’t really matter. I was heading down a path where I probably was at best going to overreact to a minor situation. Fortunately, a customer brought me Oreos. Crisis, and possibly dismissal, averted.

Ego tripping…

The freakin’ Flaming Lips came to Boise and were awesome. I was a bit let down that it wasn’t more crowded; but if it had been more crowded, I would have been pissed at all the “posers” who were just trying to be cool by coming to hear a band they have heard of. I’m kind of a music jerk – except for the kind of. I’m judgmental. I spend my time trying to get people to like the “unappreciated” music that I like and then when they do, I hate them for it. As I say, I’m a music dick.

Doctor, doctor, gimme the news…

I crossed over into oldmandom today. I got the report back from my physical and everything looks normal except for this small anomaly in that my bad cholesterol is like five times higher than a living human being should have. It seems that I have lined my ever hardening arteries with Crisco and my blood-butter level is .05% – that’s way over the legal limit. I probably shouldn’t drive because I am a heart attack waiting to happen. I’m slowly accepting my fate. Not imminent death. Something much worse. Imminent eating of stuff that’s good for me and dammit all, regular exercise.

Running on fumes…

I’m often not a very smart man. This morning on the way to work I stopped to get a convenience store breakfast. As I returned to the car, I started the engine and got caught up in a sports radio discussion. I was running late so I started looking for the car keys. I couldn’t find them in my bag. I moved the bag and checked the passenger seat. I checked the storage compartment between the seat. I got out of the car and was about to push the seat back to take a look underneath when it hit me…